she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Found your dick twin last night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
