Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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