Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Less talking, more tequila
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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