ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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