Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
