i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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