So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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