You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We need to get me chipped asap
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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