honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
