p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
