I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize