i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
