Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
