You work out of a Hotel?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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