I'm drive I can fine osifer
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
