Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
