Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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