we have pet lesbian snakes
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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