are you so shy because you have an std?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
