Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
