I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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