Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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