is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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