dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
how drunk are you?
Several
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
