Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
