thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
