I cannot find my penis.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
