Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
