hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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