yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
