We won't sleep together?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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