Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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