Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
