Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
is wine microwaveable?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
