i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
