oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
