no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
