So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
