? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my being single is dangerous.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got inside last night via doggy door
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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