So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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