Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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