STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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