Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I love having hate sex.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
this will be a night to untag.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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