its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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