Got a toothbrush?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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