I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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