So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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