Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
