Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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