like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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