we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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