i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
