Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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