she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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