His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
