There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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