batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize