Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and she was petting her beer can
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
