My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
how drunk are you?
Several
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
