Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Actions speak louder than pants.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
