One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
