is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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