i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize