if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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