elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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