come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
