please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
