he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
