Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
