What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
