I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
