But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize